R-E-S-T-L-E-S-S-N-E-S-S

The last few days I’ve been walking around my house, over and over and over again. Not knowing where to begin or what to do. I use up time on my phone as much as possible, checking if the weather may have changed on the met Office app for the 50th time in the day or pressing refresh on a website- just in case something has changed in the last 15 minutes. However as much as this is taking up time I’m left feeling MORE RESTLESS. I want to go out, I want to go to the gym, I want to read a book, I want to do so much. I get myself changed or ready but the whole time I’m feeling more anxious. I back out after sitting still for half an hour on my floor. ‘Ahh‘ I think, ‘I feel better now I’ve decided to not do this, I’ll just sit and watch Netflix, I know that’s safe.’ And there I go again refreshing every possible app I can.

I know how to get out of this I need to make commitments with friends however sometimes other people are actually busy and I’m left to do this alone. My first thought here is to pour a glass of wine, with the thought process of, ‘Well I’m going out to see George tomorrow so there’s an end and I’ll be ok but I want this over so I’ll have a few drinks and fall asleep and then it’ll be tomorrow.’ It feels like good logic but then sensible calm me asks myself, ‘Why aren’t I going out? I want to. Why does it make me nervous?’

Well I haven’t really any idea why I get restless, I know it’s anxiety, but I don’t know what I’m anxious of. Best tips though are don’t leave it too long feeling a sense of restlessness or feeling trapped and don’t drink alcohol to to make you feel calmer!

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